Tuesday, April 28, 2009
Good News/Bad News
Goods News: This semester is almost over, I'm that much closer to graduation, and I couldn't be more excited about summer.
Bad News: I have one more semester and UNA is guaranteed to still suck....oh and its 1:30 a.m....I have to be up at six.
Bad News: I have one more semester and UNA is guaranteed to still suck....oh and its 1:30 a.m....I have to be up at six.
Whats In A Name?
Champion - One that is clearly superior or has the attributes of a winner
Swagger - poised, sassiness that can't be touched. It may be in the walk or it may be in the talk, but there is no doubt it means you own the room and you have that natural charisma. Basically, one with swagger dominates at life
Swagger - poised, sassiness that can't be touched. It may be in the walk or it may be in the talk, but there is no doubt it means you own the room and you have that natural charisma. Basically, one with swagger dominates at life
How To Not Have Enemies
All women should live so long as to be this kind of old lady!
Toward the end of Sunday service, the Minister asked, 'How many of you
have forgiven your enemies?'
80% held up their hands.
The Minister then repeated his question.
All responded this time, except one small elderly lady.
'Mrs. Neely?'; 'Are you not willing to forgive your enemies?'
I don't have any.' She replied, smiling sweetly.
'Mrs. Neely, that is very unusual. How old are you?'
'Ninety-eight.' she replied.
'Oh, Mrs. Neely, would you please come down in front & tell us all how
a person can live ninety-eight years & not have an enemy in the world?'
The little sweetheart of a lady tottered down the aisle,
faced the congregation, and said: 'I outlived the bitches'
Toward the end of Sunday service, the Minister asked, 'How many of you
have forgiven your enemies?'
80% held up their hands.
The Minister then repeated his question.
All responded this time, except one small elderly lady.
'Mrs. Neely?'; 'Are you not willing to forgive your enemies?'
I don't have any.' She replied, smiling sweetly.
'Mrs. Neely, that is very unusual. How old are you?'
'Ninety-eight.' she replied.
'Oh, Mrs. Neely, would you please come down in front & tell us all how
a person can live ninety-eight years & not have an enemy in the world?'
The little sweetheart of a lady tottered down the aisle,
faced the congregation, and said: 'I outlived the bitches'
My Favorite Place
It's in the tropics somewhere between the Port of Indecision and Southwest of Disorder, but no parallels of latitude or longitude mark the spot exactly. You don't have to be a navigator to get there. Palm trees provide the camouflage. Ocean breezes bring the seaplanes and sailboats, tourists and travelers. Passports are not required. Island music rules. No waiting lines for anything.
There is a beach and a thatched roof bar perched on the edge of the turquoise sea where you can always find a bar stool. There are lots of lies and loads of stories. It's a comical concoction that bleands together like tequila, salt, and lime. Where is Margaritaville? It's in your mind....
Before UNA Crushed My Dreams...
I wanted to be a broadcast journalist and this was the moment I decided that...
The Top 5 Reasons My Parents Should NOT Have Been Allowed To Have Children
1. Have you seen my hair?
2. The only people I know who, right before they got on to the other two, laughed about the youngest being put in the dryer.
3. I was allowed to watch Dirty Dancing, Bevis & Butthead, Married With Children, Tales From The Crypt, and The Simpsons and very inappropriate ages.
4. My father actually told the other two I was an accident.
5. Again...have you seen my hair?
2. The only people I know who, right before they got on to the other two, laughed about the youngest being put in the dryer.
3. I was allowed to watch Dirty Dancing, Bevis & Butthead, Married With Children, Tales From The Crypt, and The Simpsons and very inappropriate ages.
4. My father actually told the other two I was an accident.
5. Again...have you seen my hair?
Top 5 Shows I Miss From My Childhood
1. Are You Afraid Of The Dark
2. Ren & Stimpy
3. The Golden Girls
4. Salute Your Shorts
5. Pete & Pete
2. Ren & Stimpy
3. The Golden Girls
4. Salute Your Shorts
5. Pete & Pete
The Top 5 Ways UNA Has Failed Me
1. Have you been inside that communication building?
2. Dr. Foote
3. That other one
4. They own one camera....in a communications department.
5. I signed up for an internet class...only to discover it was in a room containing ZERO computers.
2. Dr. Foote
3. That other one
4. They own one camera....in a communications department.
5. I signed up for an internet class...only to discover it was in a room containing ZERO computers.
5 Things That Remind Me Of Justin Thomas
1. If anyone ever yells "OHMYGOD WE'RE GONNA DIE!!!"
2. Aristoshit Vodka
3. People with unusually red faces
4. Outdoor flea markets
5. Pumpkins and spray tans
2. Aristoshit Vodka
3. People with unusually red faces
4. Outdoor flea markets
5. Pumpkins and spray tans
Confessions Of A Customer Service Girl
1. I honestly couldn't give a damn about any of your problems...electronic or not.
2. People over 65 should not even be allowed into electronic stores.
3. If you say anything about your kids not being able to watch TV/play their DS or any other gaming device I automatically think you're a lazy parent.
4. When I have to see your drivers licenses I check to see if you lie about your weight.
5. If you are rude you can pretty much bet everything you own that you just got called ten different names in a 2 minute time frame.
6. I think people who buy their children every game console that comes out are stupid...tell those brats to go outside and play...they could use the exercise.
7. People who attend church on Sunday are usually the rudest people I have to deal with...WWJD People?!!
2. People over 65 should not even be allowed into electronic stores.
3. If you say anything about your kids not being able to watch TV/play their DS or any other gaming device I automatically think you're a lazy parent.
4. When I have to see your drivers licenses I check to see if you lie about your weight.
5. If you are rude you can pretty much bet everything you own that you just got called ten different names in a 2 minute time frame.
6. I think people who buy their children every game console that comes out are stupid...tell those brats to go outside and play...they could use the exercise.
7. People who attend church on Sunday are usually the rudest people I have to deal with...WWJD People?!!
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